My husband is Autistic, and I love him more every day.
My name is Lily, and my husband is Auggi. We’re both French and live in France.
I want to share our story to show that being Autistic doesn’t mean being sad or alone. Many Autistic people end up single or in a relationship with another Autistic person. We’re the rare case of an Autistic and non-Autistic couple, and our journey has been full of love, growth, and understanding.
I first met Auggi in high school. I was fifteen, painfully shy, and struggled to talk to people—let alone boys. A mutual friend introduced us, and from the very first moment, he felt natural and kind to me. I immediately had a crush. He was gentle in the smallest ways: offering to carry my bag, coming to chat when he saw I was alone, holding out his hand to help me up.
At the time, he had a girlfriend, so I never dared to act on my feelings. After he graduated, he left school while I stayed for two more years. We lost touch—no phone numbers, and Facebook wasn’t widely used yet—but he never left my mind.
Then, in 2015, three years later, he stumbled across my Facebook page and sent me a friend request. I still remember that night vividly. It was 11 p.m., I was about to shut down my computer, and there it was—a little notification. When I saw it was him, I accepted immediately, both shocked that he remembered me after all those years and thrilled at the chance to reconnect.
As soon as I accepted, he messaged me. We spent hours catching up, talking about our lives since high school, our dreams, and our daily routines. Our conversation lasted until 4 a.m., and during it, he admitted he had liked me since high school, thought about me every day, and wanted to see me again. I confessed I had felt the same way. A few days later, he came to visit my parents’ house. We both had driver’s licenses, but he was the only one with a car, so he would pick me up on Fridays and bring me back on Sundays. One week, he had time off, and I spent the entire week with him—it was unforgettable. We officially became a couple in February 2016, and less than a month later, I moved into his apartment.
Auggi was my first serious, long-term relationship, so I had only a vague idea of what it meant to be “a couple.” I had to learn how to be in a committed relationship, and he had to learn how to be in a relationship with me. We both have strong personalities and unique ways of thinking, which caused some friction at first. I assumed he was neurotypical and shared my logic and perspective, which led to misunderstandings and arguments. Even now, we sometimes clash, usually because of communication gaps or frustration when the other doesn’t understand.
When we started dating, Auggi wasn’t diagnosed as Autistic—he only received an official diagnosis recently. I was the one who first noticed he wasn’t neurotypical. People, even his family, often considered him “weird,” but living with him daily made it clear to me. After researching, I suggested he might want a professional diagnosis. He aligns with nearly all the typical Autistic behaviors, though he is verbal and can handle certain tasks independently, like going grocery shopping, even if it’s challenging.
Over time, I’ve learned to communicate with him in ways that truly work. There’s no room for guessing games: I can’t say “I’m fine” unless I really am, and subtle hints don’t work. If I want him to take out the trash, I must ask directly. It might sound rigid, but it works beautifully for us.
Since last year, he’s been seeing a psychiatrist who confirmed the diagnosis. Before, he tried hard to hide his Autistic traits to appear “normal.” Now, he embraces them, and it has made him so much happier. He understands himself better, knows his limits, and can tell when certain tasks—like making phone calls or administrative work—are emotionally overwhelming.
I often accompany him in daily tasks that require interaction with others. He struggles to speak in unplanned situations, stutters, loses words, or veers off-topic. I explain things for him, answer questions, and interpret conversations. At first, it pushed me out of my comfort zone, but now I prefer it, and he does too. It simplifies communication and reduces stress for both of us.
Auggi still has difficulty understanding others’ emotions, but living together has given him an intimate understanding of me. He can sense when I’m upset, though I still need to explain the specifics—whether I need a hug, some space, or to talk it out. He asks questions freely, and I answer honestly. Yesterday, for example, he noticed I walked away quickly after a conversation and asked if I was angry. I explained I wasn’t; I just had other things to do. That’s how our communication works—direct, patient, and full of care.
We married in October 2020, right in the middle of lockdown, thanks to the deputy mayor’s flexibility.
Our relationship is wonderful. We love and understand each other, complement one another, and share the same goals and philosophy in life. Living with Auggi has taught me patience, empathy, and the beauty of seeing the world differently. I couldn’t imagine a better partner or a more extraordinary love.
