One of the greatest lessons foster care has taught me is that love always outweighs fear. Every foster parent has probably heard the phrase, “I could never foster, I would get too attached!”
It’s natural to feel fear when you consider caring for a child who may one day be taken away. But the moment you meet your foster child, you realize it doesn’t matter if your heart breaks. What matters is that this child feels loved, that they know what it means to have a family. Yes, your heart might ache in the process, but they are absolutely worth it.
When my husband and I met, it was like reconnecting with a soulmate we’d known forever. On the surface, we were complete opposites, but we shared the things that matter most: our goals, our dreams, and our faith. We had both been married before and experienced heartbreak, so we understood what it meant to start over. I had two biological children, and the way he treated them immediately showed me he was amazing with kids. I’ll never forget our first date—he took all three of us to Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream, effortlessly winning over my children’s hearts.
We dated for about a year and married in 2016. Almost immediately, we began discussing opening our home to foster care. I had fostered before, so it was something close to my heart. By 2017, after completing the licensing process, we were officially ready to welcome our first foster placement. I will never forget that day. I was at work when our agency called. We had agreed to start with one child—but the call was for two little ones, ages 1 and 2. I remember calling my husband: “Surprise! It’s two kids, not one!” Without hesitation, he said, “Tell them yes, we will do it!” And just like that, our foster care journey began.
I got home just as the kids arrived. The 2-year-old little girl walked in and immediately said, “Hi, Mom!” before turning to my husband with a cheerful, “Hey, babe!” Their personalities were unforgettable. Both children were incredibly sweet, and they stayed with us for several months. Saying goodbye was heartbreaking, but we knew it was what was best for them, trusting God to guide their next steps.
Packing their things was bittersweet. Each little outfit folded, each teddy bear returned to its box made the house feel emptier. The night before they left, we shared pizza and ice cream, trying to squeeze in as many happy memories as we could. I soaked in every moment. The next morning, as I loaded the car with their belongings, the agency called again—not to check in, but with surprising news: a newborn baby girl was about to be released from the hospital, and they needed a home. My husband had just arrived from work, and I told him the story. Without hesitation, we said yes.
That day was an emotional whirlwind. We watched our first foster kids drive away, then took the older two out for dinner, trying to lift their spirits. In the meantime, I juggled calls and emails, preparing for the arrival of our new baby. Two weeks later, she came home.
Bringing a baby into the house again was pure joy. The older children adored her, and she quickly became a daddy’s girl, following him everywhere. Eight months later, our first foster placement returned to care, and the agency asked if we could take them back. We said yes. The next year and a half was a whirlwind of court dates, visitations, and growing bonds. One child from our original placement was reunited with a family member. Though we missed her deeply, we celebrated the beauty of reunification.
For the remaining two children, days were long, filled with court dates and sleepless nights spent worrying our babies might be taken away. Then finally, a glimmer of hope: our little boy’s case was moving toward adoption. Would we adopt him? Absolutely. Soon after, we awaited news for our little girl—the baby we had brought home from the hospital, now almost two years old. One courtroom visit later, the judge announced it: we could adopt her. In that moment, a weight I hadn’t realized I’d been carrying lifted. Every fear, every sleepless night, finally dissolved.
After months of paperwork, June 12, 2019, arrived. We officially became a forever family. Every fear, every tear, every anxious night had been worth it. Our children were ours forever.
We are still licensed foster parents and have welcomed many more children since Hallie and Jayden’s adoption. Saying goodbye has never been easy, but every child has left an imprint on our hearts. Whether they stayed a few weeks or many months, we hope they always knew love and felt our prayers carrying them.
We are also overjoyed to share that we are in the process of adopting our current foster daughter, who happens to be our little girl’s sister. We are thankful to God for weaving our family together, for knowing who was meant to stay and who was meant to be a chapter in our lives.
Often, I look at our family and wonder at all we would have missed if we had let fear win. It terrifies me to think where these children would be if we hadn’t said yes. There are countless kids out there who just need someone willing to love them. You don’t need superhuman strength—you only need love and a willingness to share it.
